You might have loved me, and maybe you still does, but you had too many skeletons in your closet, too many secrets and problems you kept hidden away from the world. Even from the one, you proclaimed to have been truly in love with, and I still remember the words in my head "You cant help me" and "Its over". I like to think that I stayed as long as I could and that I loved with every ounce of my being, but now, the odds were finally against us, and it was time to call it quits.
And yesterday, when it had been 3 weeks since we even talked, we met at a party.
I was so nervous, I had been thinking during these three weeks of what I would tell you if we met.
You were so beautiful. So gorgeous with your elegant body. And your tousled hair I used to play my fingers with. And in the end of the party, I gathered courage and walked up to you and said I wanted to talk.
But once we've sat down in a room and I was expected to say all that things I had wanted to say in three weeks my brain just stopped and I didnt know what to say.
Eventually, "I miss you", and "Im still in love with you" came out of my mouth. I started to cry, but you didnt do anything. You even didnt gave me a hug and said you were sorry. Sorry for your beheaviour.
My last words was "And I didnt even got a last kiss from you." And even then, when I said that desperate and emotional line which was for three weeks of tears, you couldnt do more than lay your fingers on my left shoulder and say "Good bye".
So, fuck you. These three weeks of sorrow, crying, chainsmoking, just because of YOU! And youre not even worth it.
But.. what I would give to have you again, every bit of you. Your voice, your hair, your arms and hands, and the taste of your lips still on mine.
But I'm too late, and you're gone for good now.
So I just have to let it go. I have to spread my feelings with the wind, and let them go away.
And actually Im finally OK, because after yesterday evening, Ive realized that youre not even worth it.
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